Dilemna

Yesterday, I was excited that L had gotten a new job offer and she was going to be able to leave the Nigerians and go to work at a more stable, (i.e., legal) business.

Well, guess who decided to throw a monkey wrench into the mix. They (i.e., Kamalla and her minions) presented L with a letter, re-instating her to full time, effective monday. On top of that, Kamalla announced that she has decided to retire at the end of the year and she had every intention of training L to take over her role at the firm.

What is wrong with this picture? L could do her job blindfolded right now. The woman can't speak english properly (it is her second or third language after all) and she writes like a third grader with ADD. She is constantly skirting the edge of illegality when it comes to labor law violations and there is pretty strong circumstancial evidence that she has violated immigration laws by falsly sponsoring others from the homeland to come over here under the guise of having a job and legitimate need for their skills, even though they couldn't find their asses with both hads if they had too.

So bottom line, L is in a quandry, she can accept the new position, which is further from home along the major interstate highway, nee traffic jams and bullshit; or she could stay at Tribal Industries, and keep doing her job, with the hope of some day moving into a more responsible role.

The money is a wash at this point.
Benefits are better at the other place in the short term.
Advancement potential is probably better where she is at now, provided the bastards aren't lying through there teeth again.
Work is more challenging and to her liking at the current place. At the new place she will be basically an accounting clerk.

My advice to her is ask for more money at the new place (likely less than a dollar more an hour). All they can do is say no.

Regardless of which job she takes, she does have one trump card up her sleeve. She has at least 2 other headhunters that are actively seeking an opportunity as an executive secretary for her (she has done this in the past), and both have said that she is at the top of their placement list. Now, if you can believe a headhunter, (much like you can believe the Nigerians), then if the right job comes along, she can tell either place to pound sand and accept what is behind Door #3.

Guess what we get to do all weekend? Stew about this situation and decide what to do come Monday morning. Who will win and who will lose? Stay tuned for another exciting episode of "Whats L's New Job?

Thankful Thursday

YIPPEE, HURRAH, Abso-freaking-lutley AWESOME.

L got a job offer today and is going to accept.

No more working with the Nigerian con men.

No more worrying about whether the stupid asses will make payroll on time or whether they check will even clear the bank when it is deposited.

No more sleepless nights, and crabby mornings, dreading the thought of having to go into to a job where she is unappreciated, under-utilized, and discriminated against because she is not from "mother africa".. What a load of shit.

Now the challenge becomes, how will they try to screw her over when she resigns. Me thinks a trip to the U. S. Attorney's office might be in order.

And Now for Something Completely Different

TMI Tuesdays

I see alot of the bloggers that i follow using this feature, so I decided to unceremoniously plagerize their idea and use it too.

Enjoy.....

1. Before the industrial revolution, most people never traveled more than 30 miles from their home. How far from your birth place do you now live?

I currently live about 120 miles from where I was born and about 100 miles from where I grew up. Even though the two towns are about 80 miles apart from each other.

2. What is the farthest distance from home you have you have ever had sex or an orgasm? What is there farthest distance you have traveled from your home to have a sexual encounter?

I think the furthest I have traveled and had sex is probably Germany, during one of my trips to Russia to adopt my children. Hey, it was a hotel room, and you have to take advantage of it. Only reason I can not say Russia is that when traveling there, we were traveling with another couple and quartered in a very small 2 bedroom apartment.

The furthest I have traveled from home for a sexual encounter would have to be about 250 miles.

3. How many states (or Canadian Provences or your country's geopolitical division) and counties have you had sex and/or an orgasms in?

To many to count. I have been to nearly all 50 states, canada, and europe.

4. Have you ever had sex in a vehicle? While the vehicle was moving?

I've had sex in a motor home! But it wasn't moving. I have also had sex in a car while it was not moving. I am still waiting for the moving part. L keeps promising, but hasn't come across yet....LOL


5. Do you have any travel related fantasy? If so, share, please.

L and I want to go to Hawaii and make love on the beach. Other than that, there are a few more that we haven't really discussed yet, but may someday soon.

TFGIF

It is officially the beginning of summer. All the pundents and talking head on TV say so because it is Memorial Day Weekend. Not that I put too much stock into what any of these asshats have to say, but for once, I will go along with the teeming millions and agree.

So how do I spend the official first weekend of summer?

Golf, Beer, BBQ, Beer, Baseball, Beer, and generally being a slug and sitting around enjoying the weekend. We have friends coming to visit from Iowa, so we will show them the Big City, amongst all the beer drinking and other festivities.

Going to the Cards game on Sunday to see them whoop ass on the Royals (sorry Samsmomma, I had to get a dig in.)

I sincerely hope you all have a great weekend, buckle up, be safe, use the designated driver (even for the golf cart), and enjoy.

8 things about me

Several weeks ago I was tagged by the Vixen Kitten. Now I am pretty new to this blogging stuff, so it is with some trepidation that I do this. So here is my take on the list of 8's.

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. THe holiday weekend.
2. Seeing old friends.
3. THe smell of L when she hugs and nuzzles my neck.
4. SPending time with my kids, even though they drive me crazy.
5. Bottleing my most recent batch of homebrew (Blackberry Wheat. It is an experiment that could go horribly wrong or be fantastic.
6. Harvesting veggies from the garden.
7. making love to L.
8. A quiet weekend at home without any commmittments or unexpected issues.


8 things I did yesterday:
1. worked.
2. Fought with L.
3. Helped clean the kitchen.
4. Made up with L.
5. RCame to an understanding about my own insecurities and fears.
6. Took a walk for my own health and well being.
7. It was a slow day for me.


8 things I wish I could do:
1. Not worry about finances so much.
2. Change someones job, so they didn't have to put up with some much BS.
3. GO on a long vacation with L and without being bothered by irresponsible adult children.
4. Never have to worry about my kids being safe and healthy.
5. Go back to Russia with my children and show them where they were adopted.
6. Be more understanding and tolerant.
7. Win Powerball
8. Have the luxary of helpling those who need it the most, especially family, without it being a strain on us.


8 shows I watch: NCIS, ER, Food Network, Discovery CHannel, DIY network, History CHannel, Weather, MOvies.


8 People I'm tagging:

1. VK
2. Samsmomma
3. Southern Vixen
4. Frank

Sorry I dont have a lot of friends.....LOL

Voyeuristic Tendancies

I admit it, I am a voyeur. I love to watch, read, talk, and observe the human nature. Increasingly, I find myself surfing the blogosphere in search of interesting and revealing stories and accounts from others.

Part of my fascination is the whole, wanting to know how the other half lives thing. Part of is is wanting to imagine myself in their shoes; and part of it is me just being nosy. I suppose all true voyeurs are nosy people. Why else would they be that way. They want to see how others react to a situation. What they say and talk about.

The frustrating part of my voyeuristic tendencies is that I am a scientist. I have an analytical mind, which always gets me into trouble. It is always asking questions. Always seeking answers. This is a good and bad thing for a voyeur.

Example..... Blog XYZ discusses the most recent sexual adventures of a couple. They routinely travel to other cities to participate in adventures with "friends with benefits". Sometimes together, sometimes separate. While the discussion and review of their adventures is interesting and satisfies some of the voyeuristic tendencies, it also raises questions.

How did they originally meet?

How long have they known one another?

What was the initial attraction, other than the obvious?

How do they explain their adventures to other "white bread" friends?

What is the whole process for deciding to travel to another city, somewhere across the country for a meeting?

Don't get me wrong, I am not being judgemental at all. I am just trying to understand. I think of myself as a pretty open and honest person. Able to talk at length on most any subject, not afraid to shy away from controversial subjects, and I am willing to freely disclose personal information, if I am sure that I can trust the person with the information.

But having said that, I am also very private with strangers. I will withhold certain information from people if I don't feel they need to know. Once I am more comfortable with them, then i might share.

So my question to you, dear readers is this:

Am I asking for too much information? Should I just be happy and content knowing what I know and accept the fact that I won't or don't get to know the whole story?

Comments.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Sayings

I grew up in rural Missouri, pretty much on the edge of the Ozarks and the Bootheel area. So I have been exposed to any number of genetically challenged individuals, whom I collectively refer to as "toothless hilljacks". Most of them are pretty good folks, given there circumstances of life, and lack of opportunity for social and economic advancement.

Having grown up around these people, some of which are my relations, albeit distant, I began to pick up on the local jargon and sayings that were passed down from generation to generation. Most of them included the age old saying that we all learned as children (i.e., a penny saved is a penny earned; a stitch in time saves nine... ) you get the idea.

But there were those rare occasions when someone would come up with something so completely offbeat or strange that it would stick and become part of the collective language. L just looks at me dumb-founded when I say one of these pearls of wisdom. It usually requires me to provide an explanation, which elicits further looks of confusion from her. But, in the long run, she continues to love me and put up with my faults.

It is with great pleasure that i bring to you several of my all time favorites.

(You/They) are slower than smoke off dog crap.

It is raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.

You can want in one hand and crap in the other one. See which one fills up first.

People in HELL want ice water too, but they ain't getting it and neither are you.

I would appreciate if you could spread the word and encourage others to add their favorite sayings to the list. We can start a chain thingy (not sure what the blog term is for it).

Looking forward to hearing from you and reading the comments.

Cellphone Hell - Part Deux

When we last left our intrepid adventurer, he was in search of a replacement cell phone, after having been chastised and belittled at the hands of the all-knowing, all-seeing Wicked Witch of the Device Service Center.

So, L and I get back into the truck and drive to the ATT store in our neighborhood. The whole drive, I feel like I need to be sitting on a hemorrhoid donut pillow, cause my ass is working button holes over the bullshit I just endured at the service center.

On the drive, L calmly asks me if I am going to go postal on the poor, unsuspecting customer service person at the store. I told her that I would remain calm and try to get some satisfaction out of his company, without disemboweling him.

We arrived at the store and after about a 10 minute wait, it was finally our turn. The nice young lad introduced himself, and after explaining my problem, we went to his computer to see if he could work some magic. After a few minutes of "hmmmmm and oooohhhing", he looked at me that said, " your fucked". Not really, but essentially that is what he meant.

As he put it:

I am not eligible for a free upgrade until December (Shit);
I don't have insurance on my phone (shit fuck shit);
The hag at the service center was correct, the manufacturer wont honor the warranty;
Seems the broken screens are the reason they don't even sell that model of phone anymore (LG Slide POS);
I can buy a new phone from them for $175 to get the same model (now why would I want to do that?);
I could buy any other phone in the store for full price (here comes the anal violation again);
He could hook me up with a basic, POS Nokia phone that looks like a kids toy for $40; (makes and receives calls and that is about it); or
I can go buy a Go Phone at one of the other retail establishments, slip my SIM chip into it, and viola, I have myself a new phone with the features I want, at least until December. ( hmmmm, getting a new phone and screwing the man at the same time.....)

Now Skippy didn't have to tell me this, cause it directly affects his commission, but he also is appreciative of the fact that the LG i had to buy last July out right and the LG has a design flaw which has caused it to break.

So after deciding to take Door #3 and get the Go Phone, Skippy transfers my info to a new SIM card so that i can insert it into the GO phone upon purchase. ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD AT THIS POINT, even though we have spent almost 2 hours getting to this point.

So it is off to Best Buy to talk to yet another pimply faced lad. I much waiting in line with the unwashed masses and toothless hilljacks that seemingly appear out of the woodwork on Sunday at this place, I am able to get the GO Phone. I purchase a Razr, just like L had, only a different color. No frigging way am I walking around with a Pink phone.

We swap the SIM card, power up the phone, and lo and behold, it recognizes the number and I am back in operation. Wait for it..........

Except, Skippy didn't transfer any or my address book to the SIM card, so now I have lost almost 200 numbers and contacts. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Needless to say, it was Mother's Day, L's Mom was on her way to our house along with L's son and daughter-in-law, so we had to hustle home and BBQ. I would have rather went back to have a few words with Skippy but duty called. I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day, still having that violated feeling and even the six pack of Blue Moon with orange slices didnt do much to cheer me up. Oh well, live and learn from the experiences.

So if any of you has any bright ideas of how to recover numbers from a phone that you cant read the menu screen, I am all ears.

Have a nice day and as always comments are welcome.

Cellphone Hell - PArt 1

It's Monday, but yesterday sure felt like a Monday. Fucking wireless phone service......

I have been having trouble with my phone lately, not wanting to sync to the bluetooth and other little foibles that are just irritating enough to piss you off from time to time, but not enough to do anything about. After consultation with the pimply faced customer service tech at the local ATT store, he told me that my bluetooth problems were phone related and not operator error. He said that since the phone was less than one year old, i am entitled to a new phone. All this took place last week in the middle of my whirlwind tour of the Midwest.

Fast forward to Sat afternoon. L and I are working in the yard; mowing, weeding, mulching, you know the typical domestic stuff we all end up doing on the weekends because we don't even have time to scratch our ass during the week.

So I go to make a call to the ex to discuss schedules for dropping off the kid's Moms day present for her and lo and behold, the fucking screen on the phone is totally roached. There are colorful squiggly lines and pixels just floating about. I know I am screwed, but all i did was take it out of the holster. I didn't drop it, throw it, or spill my drink on it (although i did drop my last phone into a glass of fruit smoothie....) So i call the customer support line and get Apu"s mother on the line to walk me through the adventure of swapping the phone for a new one. After a lengthy conversation of her talking and me asking her to repeat herself in plain English every other second, I finally have an answer. Take it to the local device support center on Sunday or wait 3-5 days for the dolts to ship me a new phone.

So Sunday morning rolls around, L and I embark on a trip to exchange the phone. We arrive at the site, which is about mid point across the STL metro area from our home, and we wait for them to open. Once they opened, we are greeted by three less than cheerful staff who look upon us like we have violated them anally for even walking in the door.

Once it was mine turn to step to the counter, i am greeted with a look that says, " what the fuck do you want white man and don't be getting into my shit today". I explain my problem to the nice lady, even though i want to bitch slap her across the room. I hand her my phone to look at the screen display and she immediately hands it back to me and says, " the screen is cracked and that is considered physical damage and we can not exchange it on warranty. If you want a replacement phone it will cost you $175.00". I asked how can you tell it is cracked and she points to a faint flicker of color in the very corner of the screen and says that is the crack. WTF

Now I am pissed, but L squeezes my hand to keep me from going postal on this woman and I ask a few simple questions about an appeal process or other alternatives to my dilemma. I get an attitude like, " you are holding up the line, Cracker, move on and let my homies in."

Needless to say, I am left with no phone, (i will be damned if I am paying this bitch full price), and decide to take my dilemma elsewhere.

Part 2 tomorrow.

Comments always welcome

Weary Traveler

Good afternoon to you all. I am finally back in the office, able to get back into some sort of regular routine after a whirlwind tour of the midwest by car.

According to Hertz, when i turned my rental car in this morning, I have driven almost 1,300 miles since MOnday morning, when i picked it up. That includes a trip to southeastern Iowa and back to STL, driving around STL Tuesday evening and Wed morning, then driving to Coffeyville, KS on Wed afternoon and back to STL last night.

THe trips were all work related and it was good to be out of the office and back in the field again, even if it was only for a few days.

L and I missed each other terribly and tried to communicate when we could, between meetings, work, kids, and sleep. But it seems like I inverably end up traveling to one or more places in the midwest that is void of any reliable cell phone coverage. It is like in the TV commercials; you are talking to someone, and constantly moving around the room or the parking lot trying to find just the right spot to get a clear and uninterrupted signal. On top of that, I was having trouble with my new bluetooth and it just made matters worse.

So here I am in the middle of BFE, trying to talk to my wife, not getting a signal, leaving messages (both voice and text) for her, and then it taking an hour or more for her to respond. Needless to say, I am wondering WTF is going on. I tend to do that alot. Need to learn to control the emotions.

Anyway, finally got home last night at 1030, to yet another steaming pile of excrement from one of her family. Not that we have to do anything, but just the fact that her brother has gotten himself into trouble, yet again and she is upset, makes it tough on us. Somewhere, sometime in the last 26 months since we have been together, we got appointed mediators and intermediaries for every fucking family crisis. Well that shit ends today.....they can all go suck on a tailpipe for all I care. I am not going to have L or I stroking out from stress and high blood pressure simply because everyone else is either too dumb, self-centered, or selfish to take care of their own shit and expect us to help them out. FUCK THAT SHIT. YOU ARE ALL ON YOUR OWN NOW DAMMIT.

On a brighter note, L and I have the weekend to ourselves again. We are meeting a couple tonight for drinks and maybe more. Then have a wedding to go to tomorrow evening. Wish us luck.

TGIF, I think

Friday, the day that we all look forward to from the beginning of the work week. The day that we can't wait to end, so that we can have Saturday and Sunday to goof off, sleep, eat, drink, and whatever else it is that we do on the weekends.

Today, I am exhausted. I have been on the go since last Thursday, with family activities, a work trip to the Nevada Desert, plane travel, evening activities every night since i got home, and a full weekend ahead of me with the kids.

On top of that, it is rainy here in STL, and it isn't suppose to get any better before next Thursday, and I have another week of business travel ahead of me next week. Then next week is Mother's Day, baseball games for the kids, and a wedding that L and I are attending. At least we can relax and get snookered at the wedding on Sat. night.

On the bright side, SH1 and the stepdaughter are planning on getting a house closer to his work so them and the spawn can live together. Hey, at least they are out of my house. I don't see it lasting, and he has already told her the condition numero uno is that she get off her ass and get a job to help with the bills. Spawn goes into to day care so he can learn some basic socialization skills and there will be limits on spending. Hooray for him. But I will believe it when i see it.

L and I plan on dancing through the house naked and re-christen every room when she is gone.

Until who knows when. Y'all have a good weekend.

Comments are always welcome.