Wednesday, July 29, 2009

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME

An open letter to my wife.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I am moody and can’t seem to let go of those thing that bother me the most. I stew about the littlest thing and turn it into a crisis of biblical proportions.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I am controlling and demanding to the point that I feel like I stifle you and make you feel less than full. I know that part of it is my over protective nature, but I also recognize that it is inherent mistrust.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I am jealous and find it hard to trust anyone. I am too analytical and continually over analyze things; taking the most pessimistic outlook on a given situation without offering the benefit of the doubt.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I put myself and you into situations that just compound our struggles, yet I am resentful when I am put into situations by others.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I am critical and at times, I am disgusted by the children and do not hide my disdain for them or their life choices.

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

I am miserly, to the point of Ebeneezer Scrooge, when it comes to giving to others, but feel little compunction or guilt when I want to buy something for myself. The only thing stopping me, in most cases is that I want to make sure the bills are paid for first.

I ask myself this question daily, and every day, you just smile at me and for that brief moment, I know the answer. Then the grayness seeps back in and I wonder again.

Can you show me WHY YOU LOVE ME? Can you put a tangible value or phrase on WHY YOU LOVE ME?

Or do I just have to believe and trust that you do?

3 comments:

vixen kitten said...

Wow, that's a lot of *why* there. What did she say?

~vk~

Samsmama said...

Aw...that was very sweet!

JennyMac said...

Wow...very touching. And yes, you need to trust that she does.