An open letter to my wife.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I am moody and can’t seem to let go of those thing that bother me the most. I stew about the littlest thing and turn it into a crisis of biblical proportions.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I am controlling and demanding to the point that I feel like I stifle you and make you feel less than full. I know that part of it is my over protective nature, but I also recognize that it is inherent mistrust.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I am jealous and find it hard to trust anyone. I am too analytical and continually over analyze things; taking the most pessimistic outlook on a given situation without offering the benefit of the doubt.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I put myself and you into situations that just compound our struggles, yet I am resentful when I am put into situations by others.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I am critical and at times, I am disgusted by the children and do not hide my disdain for them or their life choices.
WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?
I am miserly, to the point of Ebeneezer Scrooge, when it comes to giving to others, but feel little compunction or guilt when I want to buy something for myself. The only thing stopping me, in most cases is that I want to make sure the bills are paid for first.
I ask myself this question daily, and every day, you just smile at me and for that brief moment, I know the answer. Then the grayness seeps back in and I wonder again.
Can you show me WHY YOU LOVE ME? Can you put a tangible value or phrase on WHY YOU LOVE ME?
Or do I just have to believe and trust that you do?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
TMI Tuesday #196
Tell us about...
1. Your first self-induced orgasm - I was 11 yo and in the shower.
2. Your first other-induced orgasm - Sr Prom Night with my date in the front seat of my mom's car.
3. Your first experience giving someone else an orgasm - My ex when we were in college actually squirted on my hand. It kind of freaked us both out. I could never get her to do that again.4. Your first time witnessing another's orgasm not induced by you. Watching an old GF masturbate for me.
5. Since your first, what is the longest time you've gone between orgasms? Several years.......
Bonus (as in optional):Tell us about a particularly memorable orgasam you haven't mentioned yet. It wasn't mine, but i once gave a GF an orgasm that was so intense, she hyperventilated for about 10 minutes.
Monday, July 20, 2009
IS IT DONE YET?
WEEKEND SUCKED ASS.....
KIDS WERE BRATTY AND UNAPPRECIATIVE.
STEPDAUGHTER AND SH1 SPENT THE WEEKEND SITTING ON THEIR ASSES AND BEING WORTHLESS PIECES OF FLESH.
GOT INTO IT WITH MY DAD BECAUSE HE IS EVEN MORE OF A CROTCHY OLD BASTARD THAN I AM.
L AND I KEPT MISSING EACH OTHERS SIGNALS ALL WEEKEND AND WERE FINALLY ABLE TO COMMUNICATE AT 11PM LAST NIGHT, WHEN WE WERE BOTH TOO DAMN TIRED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
HAVE TO FLY TO NEW YORK CITY TODAY TO SIT IN A TRAINING CLASS FOR A SUBJECT THAT I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND IS ONLY PERIPHERALLY RELATED TO MY JOB. I AM GOING TO BE BORED TO TEARS.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I AM PLANNING ON VISITING THE KATZ DELICATESSEN.
HAVE A GOOD WEEK.
KIDS WERE BRATTY AND UNAPPRECIATIVE.
STEPDAUGHTER AND SH1 SPENT THE WEEKEND SITTING ON THEIR ASSES AND BEING WORTHLESS PIECES OF FLESH.
GOT INTO IT WITH MY DAD BECAUSE HE IS EVEN MORE OF A CROTCHY OLD BASTARD THAN I AM.
L AND I KEPT MISSING EACH OTHERS SIGNALS ALL WEEKEND AND WERE FINALLY ABLE TO COMMUNICATE AT 11PM LAST NIGHT, WHEN WE WERE BOTH TOO DAMN TIRED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
HAVE TO FLY TO NEW YORK CITY TODAY TO SIT IN A TRAINING CLASS FOR A SUBJECT THAT I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND IS ONLY PERIPHERALLY RELATED TO MY JOB. I AM GOING TO BE BORED TO TEARS.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I AM PLANNING ON VISITING THE KATZ DELICATESSEN.
HAVE A GOOD WEEK.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Am I Cool?
I plagiarized this from Vixen Kitten, who swiped this from Dawg, because I am too damn tired, lazy, and busy to think up any original post for today.
L spent the night at the hospital with the “little bastard” and his mother because the little shit fell off the back of the couch; which he was sitting on after being told numerous times not to and to get down; and broke his left arm right about the elbow. He is currently at the one of the children’s hospitals awaiting surgery to pin the bone back together. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep either and so I am working on about 2 hours sleep here folks. Help a brother out and don’t be too critical.
Now on with the show…..
1. What is your occupation right now? Environmental Loss Prevention Consultant.
2. What color are your socks right now? Blue, I think, or maybe black. It was early and I still had eye boogers in and so I couldn’t really tell.
3. What are you listening to right now? I am switching between Andre Bocelli and smooth jazz, depending on what CDs are in the truck at the time.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? A cheese sandwich and cold spaghetti at 3AM this morning. I don’t usually eat at night like that but when I couldn’t sleep, I got hungry.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Hell yes, I learned how to drive on a farm.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My stepson- giving him an update of LB’s condition.
7. How old are you today? Fortyish….approaching fiftyish.
8. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Hockey or football
9. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke or ice cold beer. Depends on the time of day.
10. Favorite food? Pizza, a good piece of grilled meat, and anything spicy.
11. What is the last movie you watched? The end of Live Free or Die Hard, at 4AM this morning.
12. Favorite day of the year? The day after thanksgiving.
13. How do you vent anger? I cuss, I storm around and sulk, I take a drive, or focus on doing things around the house or yard, if the weather or time of day permits.
14. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hmmmm, I really can’t remember, I had a G.I.Joe, but mine didn’t have the kung Fu grip. Baseball stuff, my bike, living in a small rural town, I played outside a lot and spent a lot of time in the woods and at the creeks.
15. What is your favorite season? Fall
16. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries, but if it would have been a choice between Cherries and blackberries, blackberries win hands down.
17. Who is least likely to respond? I don’t know since I really only have about 3 or 4 regular readers.
18. Living arrangements? I live with my wife L, her daughter T, and T’s son LB. I also have my kids J and A one night a week and every other weekend. We also have a 16 yr old Lab/rott mix.
19. When was the last time you cried? I don’t remember.
20. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and an old army footlocker filled with scouting memorabilia.
21. What did you do last night? Hung out at the house, watched a move with my kids till they went to bed, went through bills and junk mail, and then didn’t sleep after L went to the hospital. Watched history channel and movies till I finally fell asleep.
22. What are you most afraid of? Being alone and unloved.
23. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburgers with pepperjack cheese.
24. Favorite dog breed? English bulldogs.
25. Favorite day of the week? Friday, I am wrapping things up and have two days of freedom.
26. How many states have you lived in? 3, MO, IL, and IA. If you count going to geology field camp in Utah for 6 weeks living, then the answer would be 4.
27. Diamonds or pearls? Being a geologist, I do know a thing or two about gemstones. I would have to say emeralds, or blue sapphires. They are much more rare than diamonds, when they are flawless. I also like brilliant aquamarines and topaz. Diamonds when they are cut right and flawless are beautiful and unique, but I agree with Vixen Kitten, when every gangsta wannabe is putting in their teeth or in their ears, just to show off how much money they don’t have, then it really cheapens the affect.
28. What are your favorite flowers? Irises. My grandmother had a huge bed of them in all different colors and I always loved the contrast between the flowers and the green bladed plant.
Five things most people would never guess about you:
1. I only have one eye. I have a prosthetic right eye, which brings a whole new meaning to the phase I use a lot: “blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other one.”
Long story short, I had a tumor in my eye as a baby, ( determined to be a birth defect) and had my eye removed at 9 months. I have grown up with it and so it doesn’t really affect me except that I cant watch 3D movies and get the full affect.
2. I can rummage through any pantry, kitchen cabinet, or refrigerator and come up with enough spices, staples, etc, to make a killer dinner on a moments notice.
3. People tend to view me as a big oafish type person, given my size and demeanor. They are usually surprised to find out that I am probably smarter then they are which in turn pisses them off.
4. I am a very sexual person and have been all my life.
5. I flunked algebra in high school and college. It took me 3 times to get a D in college and I took it a ran. Even though I have a BS and MS in Geology and a minor in Chemistry, I suck at math.
L spent the night at the hospital with the “little bastard” and his mother because the little shit fell off the back of the couch; which he was sitting on after being told numerous times not to and to get down; and broke his left arm right about the elbow. He is currently at the one of the children’s hospitals awaiting surgery to pin the bone back together. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep either and so I am working on about 2 hours sleep here folks. Help a brother out and don’t be too critical.
Now on with the show…..
1. What is your occupation right now? Environmental Loss Prevention Consultant.
2. What color are your socks right now? Blue, I think, or maybe black. It was early and I still had eye boogers in and so I couldn’t really tell.
3. What are you listening to right now? I am switching between Andre Bocelli and smooth jazz, depending on what CDs are in the truck at the time.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? A cheese sandwich and cold spaghetti at 3AM this morning. I don’t usually eat at night like that but when I couldn’t sleep, I got hungry.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Hell yes, I learned how to drive on a farm.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My stepson- giving him an update of LB’s condition.
7. How old are you today? Fortyish….approaching fiftyish.
8. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Hockey or football
9. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke or ice cold beer. Depends on the time of day.
10. Favorite food? Pizza, a good piece of grilled meat, and anything spicy.
11. What is the last movie you watched? The end of Live Free or Die Hard, at 4AM this morning.
12. Favorite day of the year? The day after thanksgiving.
13. How do you vent anger? I cuss, I storm around and sulk, I take a drive, or focus on doing things around the house or yard, if the weather or time of day permits.
14. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hmmmm, I really can’t remember, I had a G.I.Joe, but mine didn’t have the kung Fu grip. Baseball stuff, my bike, living in a small rural town, I played outside a lot and spent a lot of time in the woods and at the creeks.
15. What is your favorite season? Fall
16. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries, but if it would have been a choice between Cherries and blackberries, blackberries win hands down.
17. Who is least likely to respond? I don’t know since I really only have about 3 or 4 regular readers.
18. Living arrangements? I live with my wife L, her daughter T, and T’s son LB. I also have my kids J and A one night a week and every other weekend. We also have a 16 yr old Lab/rott mix.
19. When was the last time you cried? I don’t remember.
20. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and an old army footlocker filled with scouting memorabilia.
21. What did you do last night? Hung out at the house, watched a move with my kids till they went to bed, went through bills and junk mail, and then didn’t sleep after L went to the hospital. Watched history channel and movies till I finally fell asleep.
22. What are you most afraid of? Being alone and unloved.
23. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburgers with pepperjack cheese.
24. Favorite dog breed? English bulldogs.
25. Favorite day of the week? Friday, I am wrapping things up and have two days of freedom.
26. How many states have you lived in? 3, MO, IL, and IA. If you count going to geology field camp in Utah for 6 weeks living, then the answer would be 4.
27. Diamonds or pearls? Being a geologist, I do know a thing or two about gemstones. I would have to say emeralds, or blue sapphires. They are much more rare than diamonds, when they are flawless. I also like brilliant aquamarines and topaz. Diamonds when they are cut right and flawless are beautiful and unique, but I agree with Vixen Kitten, when every gangsta wannabe is putting in their teeth or in their ears, just to show off how much money they don’t have, then it really cheapens the affect.
28. What are your favorite flowers? Irises. My grandmother had a huge bed of them in all different colors and I always loved the contrast between the flowers and the green bladed plant.
Five things most people would never guess about you:
1. I only have one eye. I have a prosthetic right eye, which brings a whole new meaning to the phase I use a lot: “blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other one.”
Long story short, I had a tumor in my eye as a baby, ( determined to be a birth defect) and had my eye removed at 9 months. I have grown up with it and so it doesn’t really affect me except that I cant watch 3D movies and get the full affect.
2. I can rummage through any pantry, kitchen cabinet, or refrigerator and come up with enough spices, staples, etc, to make a killer dinner on a moments notice.
3. People tend to view me as a big oafish type person, given my size and demeanor. They are usually surprised to find out that I am probably smarter then they are which in turn pisses them off.
4. I am a very sexual person and have been all my life.
5. I flunked algebra in high school and college. It took me 3 times to get a D in college and I took it a ran. Even though I have a BS and MS in Geology and a minor in Chemistry, I suck at math.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
And Now for Something Completely Different
I am not too good at the technical aspects of this blog thing, so I haven't figured out how to embed the video directly into the blog. Hints are welcome in the comments section...LOL
Anyway, this is hilarious and totally inappropriate, but very timely with the passing of the King of Pop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELyTBXzfQJ8
ENJOY
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
What I Am Thankful For
I occurred to me that I have been usually crabby lately and have spent alot of time venting my frustrations with others through this blog. While it is the main reason that I started this, I may have left some with the impression that I am jaded, mean, and unfulfilled in my life. In an effort to change that, I offer a glimpse of those things that make me happy and thankful.
My wife - L is truly my soulmate. She puts up with my bitching and complaining, but always has a smile and a kiss for me. She touches me like no other woman I have ever been involved with. She and I are both very compatible in private.
My kids - J and A, are miracles to me. Having adopted them from Russia, I treasure every moment I am with them, even though they drive me crazy and I complain that they are ungrateful and unappreciative of what I do for them. J is finally starting to get it, and while he does bitch about doing some chores, he does them. I just have to pay him a small allowance....LOL A is very active but finds it hard to entertain herself. She is in constant need of attention and an audience for her life. I worry sometimes that there is something more going on there but I keep telling myself that I left when she was very young and that has scarred her. It is my job to make sure that the scars heal and don't leave any lasting impressions.
L's kids are also important to me. They define who she is and while I don't agree with their lifestyles most of the time, without them, she wouldn't be her. I am slowly inching into the role of grandpa, which I never expected to be in at such a young age.
My job - I love my job. I don't dread coming to work, I don't dread getting up in the morning etc. There are slow times, but when I am busy, it is frantic and harried.
Scouting - I have been involved in scouting since I was 8 years old. Except for a period during college when I was not very active, I have been in Scouting for 40 years. During that time, I have been and seen many wonderful things, experienced opportunities, and accomplished much. I am an Eagle Scout. I am a Vigil Honor member of the Order of The Arrow. I went to Yellowstone at 12 for a 3 week camping trip. I went to Canada at 15 for a 2 week canoe trip. Currently, I am involved with J's scout troop and am also a member of an Eagle Scout Board of Review.
Friends - I have many friends, some lifelong, some recent, some good, some just acquaintances. I have friends that I haven't seen in 10 years, but still get the occasional phone call or email from that I know I can call in a pinch and they would be there for me. I have friends in all walks of life that I can call on for advice and counsel any time without any fear that I am taking advantage of them and they know that they can do the same of me. Friendships are important to me.
There are more things, trivial things which I will expand upon later, but I hope this gives you a picture of me, that isnt so distorted by all of my rantings and ravings.
My wife - L is truly my soulmate. She puts up with my bitching and complaining, but always has a smile and a kiss for me. She touches me like no other woman I have ever been involved with. She and I are both very compatible in private.
My kids - J and A, are miracles to me. Having adopted them from Russia, I treasure every moment I am with them, even though they drive me crazy and I complain that they are ungrateful and unappreciative of what I do for them. J is finally starting to get it, and while he does bitch about doing some chores, he does them. I just have to pay him a small allowance....LOL A is very active but finds it hard to entertain herself. She is in constant need of attention and an audience for her life. I worry sometimes that there is something more going on there but I keep telling myself that I left when she was very young and that has scarred her. It is my job to make sure that the scars heal and don't leave any lasting impressions.
L's kids are also important to me. They define who she is and while I don't agree with their lifestyles most of the time, without them, she wouldn't be her. I am slowly inching into the role of grandpa, which I never expected to be in at such a young age.
My job - I love my job. I don't dread coming to work, I don't dread getting up in the morning etc. There are slow times, but when I am busy, it is frantic and harried.
Scouting - I have been involved in scouting since I was 8 years old. Except for a period during college when I was not very active, I have been in Scouting for 40 years. During that time, I have been and seen many wonderful things, experienced opportunities, and accomplished much. I am an Eagle Scout. I am a Vigil Honor member of the Order of The Arrow. I went to Yellowstone at 12 for a 3 week camping trip. I went to Canada at 15 for a 2 week canoe trip. Currently, I am involved with J's scout troop and am also a member of an Eagle Scout Board of Review.
Friends - I have many friends, some lifelong, some recent, some good, some just acquaintances. I have friends that I haven't seen in 10 years, but still get the occasional phone call or email from that I know I can call in a pinch and they would be there for me. I have friends in all walks of life that I can call on for advice and counsel any time without any fear that I am taking advantage of them and they know that they can do the same of me. Friendships are important to me.
There are more things, trivial things which I will expand upon later, but I hope this gives you a picture of me, that isnt so distorted by all of my rantings and ravings.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
TMI Tuesday #194
1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?
In the front seat of my moms 69 Mecuary Couger on Senior Prom Night. We were in the wood along a country road.
2. How often do you lie?
Occasionally, usually to save me the trouble of having to explain something in great detail and it still ending up being misunderstood or not believed.
3. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?
Definately smart. Looks will only get you so far, and while all the Hollywood types make millions with their looks, when their looks are gone, what to they have left? Smarts enables you to turn any situation into an advantage for you.
4. Have you ever passed out or suffered memory loss from drinking too much?
Yes, Pepe Lopez and I had a very bad encounter one night on a camping trip. I passed out and woke up to find the floor around my bunk littered with firecracker paper. I was told later that some of my friends, who arrived late, decided to toss firecrackers under my bed in a effort to wake me up. IT DIDNT WORK.
5. Top or bottom?
Definately bottom... I like having more control that way and can be deeper and last longer.
Bonus: Do you have any catalogs for toys/videos/lingere delivered to your home?
No we dont currently, but sure would like to get some....Wink Wink Nudge Nudge.....
Thursday, July 2, 2009
THe Week/Weekend In Review - Part 2
OK, so I didn't get back to this post the following day like I promised. SORRY.
When we last left our fearless hero, he was crabby, tired, covered in bug and tick bites from his days at camp, and dealing with two crabby kids and a spoiled, rotten little shit of a grandson.
As we were running errands, L overheard my son say something about going to a movie later in the day. I had told him and his sister that we might, since it was so bloody hot and they weren't able to really play outside. L suggested that I do that, in order to keep my kids and the little bastard away from each other and restore peace and harmony to the world.
So we get home, L and I begin to clean the house and get things ready for the b-day party on Sunday. At 4, I take my kids to the movies, as previously discussed. We get home about 630 and L is in a mood. When I finally get her to open up, she informs me that she has been stuck home all day cleaning house while I have been out at the movies and no one bothered to ask her if she wanted to go. Now I will admit that it was an oversight on my part to not ask her, but I assumed by her earlier comment that she didn't really want to go. On top of this, the step daughter, SH1 and the little bastard are gone and have not lifted a finger to help with any of the party preparations. I told L that I was sorry she got stuck cleaning the house and if her "fucking daughter" would get off her ass and help, she wouldn't have had to do it all by herself. WRONG THING TO SAY, I know, but it is what it is.
Needless to say, Saturday evening was a bit chilly in the house.
Sunday, I got up, went outside bright and early and spent about 4 hours mowing, trimming, and generally getting things spruced up around the outside of the house. L had to run to check on her mom and was gone about 4 hours and so when she got back, it was a frenzy to get things finalized for the party. Fortunately, it was just family, and if things were half done, then who cares. We had homemade lasagna, pasta house salad (it is a STL thing), and homemade cheesecake (I made 2 and L made 1).
All in all, it wasn't too bad. The grandsons fought the entire time, which is typical, their parents didn't pay alot of attention to them, which is typical, except to yell at them like a Hoosier in the middle of the yard. But the surprising thing is that when all was said and done, stepdaughter actually thanked us in her own, impersonal way, by texting.....
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
When we last left our fearless hero, he was crabby, tired, covered in bug and tick bites from his days at camp, and dealing with two crabby kids and a spoiled, rotten little shit of a grandson.
As we were running errands, L overheard my son say something about going to a movie later in the day. I had told him and his sister that we might, since it was so bloody hot and they weren't able to really play outside. L suggested that I do that, in order to keep my kids and the little bastard away from each other and restore peace and harmony to the world.
So we get home, L and I begin to clean the house and get things ready for the b-day party on Sunday. At 4, I take my kids to the movies, as previously discussed. We get home about 630 and L is in a mood. When I finally get her to open up, she informs me that she has been stuck home all day cleaning house while I have been out at the movies and no one bothered to ask her if she wanted to go. Now I will admit that it was an oversight on my part to not ask her, but I assumed by her earlier comment that she didn't really want to go. On top of this, the step daughter, SH1 and the little bastard are gone and have not lifted a finger to help with any of the party preparations. I told L that I was sorry she got stuck cleaning the house and if her "fucking daughter" would get off her ass and help, she wouldn't have had to do it all by herself. WRONG THING TO SAY, I know, but it is what it is.
Needless to say, Saturday evening was a bit chilly in the house.
Sunday, I got up, went outside bright and early and spent about 4 hours mowing, trimming, and generally getting things spruced up around the outside of the house. L had to run to check on her mom and was gone about 4 hours and so when she got back, it was a frenzy to get things finalized for the party. Fortunately, it was just family, and if things were half done, then who cares. We had homemade lasagna, pasta house salad (it is a STL thing), and homemade cheesecake (I made 2 and L made 1).
All in all, it wasn't too bad. The grandsons fought the entire time, which is typical, their parents didn't pay alot of attention to them, which is typical, except to yell at them like a Hoosier in the middle of the yard. But the surprising thing is that when all was said and done, stepdaughter actually thanked us in her own, impersonal way, by texting.....
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
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